Support Group

Support groups If you are in the St. Louis Metropolitan area, please join us for an in-person support group the second Tuesday of every month, 7pm at the National Share Office, 1600 Heritage Landing, Suite 109, St. Peters, MO 63303. For more information, please contact Jenn Stachula at jstachula@nationalshare.org. If you are not in the area or can't make it to the in-person group, please join us over Zoom on the third Monday of the month at 11am. Contact, Patti Budnik, companion@nationalshare.org for more information. Due to the sensitive nature of these groups, please do not bring children/babies with you to our in-person or virtual groups.

Wave of Light

Have you experienced the tragic death of a baby during pregnancy or as a newborn? Has someone you love experienced the tragic death of a baby during pregnancy or as a newborn? Do you know that beginning in 2003, October 15 has been designated as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day? Do you know that October 15 is also known as The International Wave of Light? On October 15 of each year, bereaved families and those who love them light a candle at 7 PM and leave it burning for one hour. This creates a wave of light that travels around the world for 24 hours in memory and honor of beloved babies who aren’t in their loved one’s arms but are never far from their hearts. If you have experienced the death of a baby or if you love someone who has, we invite you to light a candle on Tuesday, October 15 at 7 PM. We also invite you to share a photo of your burning candle on social media using the hashtags #SHAREWOL24 or #WOL24. We look forward to seeing how you remember and honor the…

October - Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

Fall…this one word can bring to mind many different things…piles of crunchy leaves, apple pie, football, cozy sweaters and evenings around the fire. Many people greet fall with open arms and welcome the change of season. However, when you are a parent grieving the death of your baby, the change of seasons can be difficult because it can feel as if time is marching on, while for you, life has come to a standstill. Summer giving way to fall can be an especially challenging time as we head into the colder season of shorter days and times centered around children, such as back to school and Halloween.

Share Walk for Remembrance & Hope

Register for the Share Walk for Remembrance and Hope today! Early bird pricing lasts until July 15.

Hope

“You can’t give up hope.” This is what people may tell you when you have lost your baby. Do you want to scream back, "hope is stupid?" Everything feels futile, self-care is stupid, therapy is stupid, everything is stupid! Sometimes you just want to feel miserable and not have anyone talk you out of it. Having hope for the future is what provides the courage to go on, yet when your heart is broken, it can be a struggle to hold onto hope. It can feel impossible to believe that things will ever be better than they are right now. Hope is not always just thinking positive thoughts. Hope is clinging to the life raft and kicking, even when there is no sight of land. It is getting up and seeing the sun shine instead of sitting in a dark room watching Netflix. It is putting one foot in front of the other and walking when you feel like you can't walk at all. It’s behaving as if there might be a future, even when that seems patently ridiculous. You can…

It's OK

To you. The mother and father sitting at home, binge watching Netflix because you don’t feel like celebrating the holidays this year. It’s ok.

To Our Glories

The darkness left behind by the loss of you

The Comfort Room

We know the intense grief after losing your baby is overwhelming. On the days that you feel like the pain is just too much, or you need an hour to yourself, or you want to honor a significant day for your baby, we invite you to sit in our comfort room. This is a private room where you can grieve without shame and acknowledge your sadness and suffering, or relax in the massage chair, listen to music, sit quietly, or get support from a Share Staff member. If you live in the St. Louis area, we would love to have you. Go to the menu on the left side to make an appointment, and we will give you a comforting place to grieve and send you home with a care package. The Comfort Room is located at 1600 Heritage Landing Suite 109, St. Peters, MO 63033.

Surviving Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a day for family, food, football, and celebration. So how do you get through it without your baby? It takes courage to get through a holiday, so if you aren't feeling courageous, then skip it. But if you’re worried about being sad while others are happy and celebrating, don’t let that stop you. Nobody expects you to be the life of the party; they’re just glad you took the steps to show up. There is no way to prevent holidays from coming. As difficult as holidays are, you will have to experience them at some point. Sometimes we see these days coming, and the lead-up days are harder than the day itself. Unfortunately, these days are part of the way forward through grief.

Wave of Light

Tonight, October 15th, at 7 p.m., we will light candles throughout the world to memorialize all of the babies who died too soon.

Shine the light, pave the way, lead with love.

Every time we tell our child's story, speak their name, or share a photo, whether online or in person, we are perhaps shining a light in the darkness for someone else, paving a path forward where grief is not unspeakable, and love becomes the way to navigate through loss. - Brook Taylor Duckworth

Something to Remember

Sometimes we need a reminder that grief is individual and some days we hurt worse than others. Grief is an expression of your continued love for your baby and that love never ends. You are not alone. We are here for you. We have an online support chat tonight, October 10 at 7pm CST. For more information, email info@nationalshare.org or go to our website nationalshare.org. https://nationalshare.org/online-support/

I am Forever Changed

There's beauty in the most ugliest and unexpected places, you just have to look for it. When you've had a significant loss, it is hard to see beauty anywhere. Just for today, look for all of the beautiful things around you.

If Today is Hard...

Some days are just extra hard and heartbreaking when you are grieving. When you are in the midst of such days, relief can seem far away. For today, if you are having a hard day, be gentle with yourself. Find a way to slow down and do something that you enjoy. Relax outside and listen to the birds sing. Go for a slow walk or simply sit and listen to music that soothes you. The world around you doesn't stop for your grief so you must. You may be busy at work or have too many household chores, but you are allowed to grieve even if a significant amount of time has passed. Grief will hijack your heart at the worst moments. If only for ten minutes, do something to soothe your soul.

Raise Awareness

I'm so sorry...

When months go by and no one says your baby’s name and you are saying it every day, I am so sorry. On the days when people tell you to move on, I am so sorry. I am so sorry that this tragedy can't be undone. I am so sorry that there is a certain melancholy that will always live inside of you. I am so sorry this is part of your life now. Please know that you are not betraying your precious baby by living your life to the fullest. We love you. You are not alone.

Grief and Every Day Life

If the only thing you did today was get out of bed and survive, that is okay! We have always called the grief experience a roller coaster ride with blindfolds. Often your partner may not be in the same hill or valley as you. The lows are very low and sometimes one may not know when those will hit. Somedays, the peaks or highs are there too, and good. Of course, your baby’s death affected you and your spouse or partner the most, but he/she touched and affected your family, friends, co-workers, church members, community, and even acquaintances. Babies are not supposed to die and when they do, people are saddened and overwhelmed. Dealing with your own feelings is complicated enough. Seeing others grieve can sometimes be difficult, as you may not have the energy to deal with their issues. On the other hand, sharing your grief may be comforting. The other issue one may deal with is even though others are hurting for you, they seem to move on with their daily lives when…

Feeling Okay

Grief has been described as a rollercoaster. Some days you may feel on top of the hill, ready to take on whatever needs to be done, while other days you may have a hard time getting out of bed. Both things, and everything in between, are okay! Think about what being okay means for you. And know that wherever you are, it really is okay.

You Deserve IT!

Pamper yourself! AND don't feel guilty about it. Give yourself a manicure! We are thrilled to announce that Color Street is supporting pregnancy and infant loss! They have designed a unique nail strip, Angel Wings, a limited-edition white shimmer design with pink and blue reverse gradients, We are so grateful for this company! Color Street stylists are out there working hard to create awareness so that anyone who has lost their baby knows they are not alone. Please look for a local stylist so you can promote awareness too! Stayed tuned for a video on how to apply the nail strip! It's easy! If you have questions, email Sarah Lawrenz, slawrenz@nationalshare.org.

Focus on the Step in Front

When you are grieving so deeply, everything can feel like an insurmountable challenge. You may look ahead to the future and wonder how you are going to get through it all. Focus on today. If that feels overwhelming, then focus on getting through one hour at a time. Always remember, that we are here for you. If you need to talk, give us a call at 1-800-821-6819. We would love to hear your story and guide you through the upcoming days. If you don't feel like talking, email us at info@nationalshare.org.

Walk in Memory of Your Baby

Have you registered for the Share Walk? Are you not in the St. Louis area? You can register as a virtual walker and we will mail you a t-shirt! Parents who have lost their baby must be heard and supported. The Walk brings together bereaved parents, friends, family, and caregivers from across the nation to promote awareness of perinatal grief and to ensure that families receive loving care after the death of their baby. Join us either in person or virtually. The deadline is August 21st to have your baby's/ies name on the back of the shirt and the Baby Memorial Wall. Visit nationalshare.org to register. Join us! YOU ARE NOT ALONE. If you have questions email Sarah Lawrenz, slawrenz@nationalshare.org.

Share Walk for Remembrance & Hope

Where Can You Turn

Companion

We're here to companion you. Together with the staff at Share or another bereaved parent, your journey will be less overwhelming and isolating. We are here for you. If you would like to request a Companion, please call 1-800-821-6819.