"Carrying the weight of losing a child is heavy. Pile on guilt and a sense of failure and the load becomes unbearable." Quote from the book Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back written by Kelly Farley and David DiCola
Do you feel guilty? Guilt and grief are such a powerful combination. Guilt is a normal feeling of grief. So many loss parents feel guilty for feeling joy or having fun. The shame of feeling something other than sadness might make us feel even more guilty. If you are getting a moment or an hour where you are feeling good, do everything you can to embrace it. You aren't being punished for anything and it is not your fault. I will say it again, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You might be thinking "what if" I had done something different? Get rid of those thoughts and know that you did nothing to deserve this terrible tragedy. For today, try to laugh and feel joy because it is okay to feel good.